like a genetically modified tomato
i have not been focussed for what feels like months
in truth
i think it may really have been months
since any remotely coherent thought processes have gone on
it is as though
i've lost my dignity
my sense of reason
and my gumption
and all for what?
to be hanging about like some sad wall flower
pinning for an illusive smile that never really settles long enough on his face to mean anything
waiting for a fleeting, half hearted embrace
that is is wrought with unnecessary unease and tension
would it not be better
to accept what cannot be
and move on in kind favour?
apparently not
apparently it is easier to rip me to shreds in front of my colleagues
to accuse me of stealing
to bullshit me into thinking there is some kind of caring nature there
lurking behind your disinterested and vacant stare
if only i'd not lost my knickers to just another man
one so unworthy of my attention
if only you where as lovely as i hoped you'd be
if only i did not have to see you everyday
if only i did not want to.
