wellies across the water

red toes across the sky

you cannot imagine

i will sit by you
stranger
man in this not my house
i will cook your dinner
and wash your clothes
and at night
i will hear you stumble
about
in this not my house
you seem still driven
some unsatiable hunger
perhaps for the cakes hidden under the stairs
or for a translator
to turn my questions
into answers
the demons of the night claw at your sides
and i fear the sound of your restless rambles
i do not wish to bury you
but i did not wish to bury
any of those i have
you are not paying for any wrong doing
your regret has no place here
in this not my house
among those who only wish to love
until this love need not feed or listen
is it a selfish love
that keeps you
or a heart so full of compassion
it cannot ignore
you cannot imagine
the ghosts reborn in the light of this darkness
there is purpose to us here now
a purpose on my part
so full of unwanted responsibility
how cruel it is
to know
and not know
to care for
a stranger who's eyes scream of unspoken sadness
i fear i will learn what it is to mourn a stranger

just around the bend

i have tied my heart
to the mast of this little ship made of paper and glue
i walk to the water of Leith
and place it down beside the reeds
and the rubbish
i push it forward into the stream
and watch as it disappears behind the first turn
i will no longer chase
what waits
just
around
the bend

you have until the flower wilts

1 week, 4 days

3 hours

and now

32 minutes

is all the time you have

to make this right.

that is how long it will take

for this flower to wilt

and die by my bedside

there are buds yet to open

but the water will not be replaced

i will ignore the wee flower

until i notice some sad, sweet drooping

if it is not made right

i fear

i will never like the colour yellow

again

who we have become

it was not you
it was the idea of you
my idea of you
the promise of you

and now
knowing this space between us
i am reminded of
of the simple fact
that
where we were
where we were going
and inevitably
the people we where going to become
are all that need now be addressed

apart, alike, away and amused
i must seem
at the light hearted
heart breaking
separation of it all

i see a small girl
frozen in yet another
undesirable yet utterly amazing situation

that is where you left me and now dear
this is where i am

swear to me
this is who we have become?
and promise i will choose to
adapt to, accept and abolish
in that order alone
this daunting reality
waiting at my feet

Wine in the Forest

This afternoon

we drank wine in the forest

The man you see all over town was sitting behind you

we talk about old things

and new things

and things i dont really understand

until you translate them from

Spanish to English, then

English to Spanish, then

Sedi to Sarah, then

Sarah to Sedi

all with a nice wee cup of wine

the till

somehow

out of the till today

there spilled

some unexpected word

that made me smile

and be grateful

i work with the most gorgeous girls

my head

there is a very big grey cloud sitting just behind my left ear
when i wonder what i want to do
the cloud spreads further over
it fills with tears that are yet to fall
and makes my shoulders wet

the wee bottle of carbonated water living inside my head
shakes itself in this pressure
and through the lid
bubbles escape

some of the stars fell from your eyes into mine
and now i cant really see
but i know what i want to see
your words
and mine
alike
and aloud
across a big stage

when i find a mop
i will clean up the mess
my head has made

room on your couch once more

at once

like a slip

slide

show

of colour and light

i am sprawled out

across your couch

pouring my tales

like tea from a pot

onto the lounge floor



once all is said

i am empty

and ready to be refilled

with the burdens

that tomorrow will not fail to provide



leave me room on the couch once more?